Inside the Mind of the Queen BBB

Whoa!! Is that really my ass? Could that red, swollen, welted parcel of flesh really belong to me? The honest and obvious answer to both questions, of course, is yes. The larger question, however, is this…Why would I allow, or better yet, embrace the very actions that would cause that soft, delicate little derriere to get that way in the first place? Before I can answer I feel like I need to explain myself a bit.

I’ll begin by saying that I am NOT a submissive. Do you get that? There is really nothing in my make up that could even be remotely construed as submissive. As a matter of fact, my general personality is the polar opposite. I have a tendency to be somewhat bossy, somewhat demanding, somewhat aggressive and somewhat controlling and maybe somewhat selfish as well. BBB would probably say “Replace the word somewhat with very and that is a more accurate description.” I’ll even go as far to say that those character traits are so much a part of who I am that I was mostly blithely unaware that anybody else even noticed or cared. At the very least, nobody ever mentioned it to me. Let me rephrase that…nobody ever COMPLAINED about it. Not until BBB.

Not only did BBB bring it out front and center…he had the balls to tell me that it was downright unappealing!! Can you believe that?? This man looked me right in the eye and told me that this was how he saw me and that he didn’t like it!!! At first, I laughed it off, but then I stopped laughing and started thinking. When I started really thinking about it, I began to really embrace the actions that caused my soft little delicate derriere to end up as you see it in the pictures. (Did you know that BBB? Did I ever tell you that was when I really got it? Well now you know!)

So what about the sexual spanking you ask? How do you go from point A (aggression) to point B (sexual submission, spanking etc). First of all, you have to have a man in your life that is willing to take you there. He has to have the boldness to just do it! Because I had no idea that I would find it appealing, it never occurred to me to even introduce that type of sex play. Why would I? But he did! He wasn’t afraid to push me a bit. He just seemed to know that it would work for us. (That, plus the fact that he is TOTALLY into it as well.) I mean, he LOVES it! Talk about get him up and ready!! It is amazing the effect that it has on him (most men??) He’ll have to write a blog entry explaining it from his perspective so that we can all get inside his head too. You hear that BBB?

When I first became sexually involved with BBB I knew that he was a bit different from the men that I had experienced up to that point. The first clues were him roughly pushing my head down to suck his cock. Not asking me, not working up to it…just pushing me head down to suck him. The unspoken words were “Suck it bitch!” WTF?? Are you fucking kidding me? Nobody treats Princess Boo this way dammit!! Boo is the quintessential prize!! Boo is the woman that is so treasured and cherished that NO MAN would DARE do ANYTHING that might offend her or take her down a notch or two!! That was me…Prima donna Boo! But even in that moment, even though it was so foreign to me, I liked what he did. It gave me a thrill that I couldn’t really understand, so I just went with it. That unknown desire to be dominated was showing it’s face. Yes, I said unknown! It had never really been a thought in my mind or even a desire that I had kept hidden. I truly did not know it was there until BBB showed me the light…and that is a mighty bright light!!

Now in the course of my sexual life, I have had men give me a little love tap on my ass while in the midst of sex play. No big deal! Usually, it didn’t even get a reaction out of me. It was just one of those things that would happen sometimes, kind of like a squeeze on the tit or a little suction on the thigh. Like I said…no big deal. But with BBB it was DIFFERENT. The first time he gave me a “love tap”, it was harder than any other I had experienced. That very first one made me take notice! I didn’t say anything but I certainly did notice the difference AND I liked it too! Oh yeah baby! Did I ever like it!!!

I’ll fast forward a bit now, but suffice to say that the “love taps” increased in forcefulness and frequency. In addition to the spanking, BBB also threw in there a nice mix of sexual biting that would take me just past my pain threshold. I’m talking about bites on my ass, my thighs, my hips, my tits (oh yeah!)…anywhere that he knew wouldn’t show in my everyday world. I can’t even tell you what that does to me!! It gets me more excited, more aroused, more ready to fuck than just about anything else. As I say to BBB…There’s not even breathing room between pleasure and pain! It’s so true! That little bit of pain registers with me as extreme pleasure! I don’t know why that is the case but I just know that it is. He also knows and understands this and he uses it for my pleasure and his own. Do I register the pain as pleasure because I like the idea of domination so much?? Would the pain still register as pleasure if I DIDN”T like the concept of domination? I don’t have that answer and I don’t care either. I just like what I like and that is good enough for me.

I think that the pleasure that I receive from BBB’s spankings is twofold. There is the physical aspect and the psychological aspect. I think that they are both equally important. I’ll address the psychological aspect of spanking first.

When BBB has decided that it’s time for a little spanking (and I don’t know what is that makes him decide that) he will usually give a solid whack on my ass. This first whack is usually not so over the top that I can’t stand it. It’s just firm enough to cause some sting. I usually try not to react and most times I can manage that. If he has decided that he wants to give me a few more, the intensity increases. The spanking gets harder and more painful, yet still, I try not to react. I try not to flinch (although I do at times). I try not to cry out (although I do at times). I try to just stay there and take it. I take as much as he can dish out. If I do this, then I’m not really giving in…I’m not giving up. That is the bossy, in control, aggressive side of me. I’m not going to beg him to stop. Plain and simple…I won’t do it! It can be hurting, stinging, swelling and I’m STILL not going to really ask him to stop! On the contrary, I’m going to ask him for more. If I did ask him to stop, I know that he would because he loves me and doesn’t REALLY want to hurt me. That bit of knowledge is critical! I trust him completely! But BBB , no doubt, knows the difference between a quiet “Please stop” and a serious “PLEASE STOP!” (although I have never gotten to the point where I seriously needed him to stop…yet.) The knowledge that he is in control of the situation, and of me is so incredibly sexually charged in my mind that I get to the point that I will do anything…and I mean ANYTHING that he tells me to do. Do you see how the opposing parts of me are both at play? The part that WILL NOT give in and the part that will do anything he says? Granted, it is a strange dynamic but all I can tell you is this is the way it is for me!

The physical aspect of spanking? Can I tell you that I love the feeling of getting a few good whacks on the ass which may or may not be followed by a few soft kisses, a gentle caress all over my stinging rear end, or even better…his tongue down between my legs giving me a nice wet lick where it really counts??? There is nothing else like it!! Truly, the tension is there from the spanking and then resolution from all of BBB’s sweetness! And the thing is that I never know when it’s going to happen. Am I about to get another whack or am I about to get something soft and tender? I don’t know! Only he knows and he’s not going to give me a heads up either. I don’t know until it happens! My body can be utterly rigid and tensed waiting for the next spank and then what I feel is his hand or mouth on me which instantly releases the tension from my body. I move into that place of pure enjoyment and then I may or may not get another whack a few moments later. The not knowing just heightens my sexual tension to levels that you can’t imagine!!! The actual physical sensation of the spanking is painful. No doubt about that. But at the same time, it is incredibly sensual. His hand, my ass, blood flowing ( mine and his) generated heat…need I say more? Oh BBB, I think I need to see you right now!!!! Right freakin’ now!!